The fear — Even worse than the hangover

Saturday, I celebrated my partner. It was her birthday. It had been a while since we had gotten properly drunk, but as we went through dinner and then had a few more drinks afterwards, we made a conscious decision that we would get drunk that night. We knew the price we’d have to pay the next day. And this is exactly what adulthood is about. Making conscious decisions, even if bad ones, as long as you know the fallout and can accept it.

AI has made this image more real than I wanted it to be…

The thing is that a hangover is physically unpleasant. Everyone feels it differently, depending on their bodies, health, mental health, age and a host of other things. Hangovers rarely feel the same to me anymore. Each one is unique and each one is worse than the last. But what really makes me want to avoid getting drunk is the day after the hangover.

The Fear

After I spend a day vegging and nursing myself back to being a functioning human being, I have a bad mental health day. In the last few years, it has become a near certainty that the day following a bad hangover will turn into a day filled with The Fear.

My partner and I both experience this. My self-confidence drops. I have a small existential breakdown wondering what I’m doing with my life, my work. I question my to-do list. I am uncertain of what gives me pleasure. It truly feels like the world is…